A Father's Day Message

Being the Father I Never Had, by Barack Obama.

I grew up without a father around. I have certain memories of him taking me to my first jazz concert and giving me my first basketball as a Christmas present. But he left when I was two years old.

And even though my sister and I were lucky enough to be raised by a wonderful mother and caring grandparents, I always felt his absence and wondered what it would have been like if he had been a greater presence in my life. I still do. It is perhaps for this reason that fatherhood is so important to me, and why I've tried so hard to be there for my own children.

That's not to say I've always been a perfect dad. I haven't. When Malia and Sasha were younger, work kept me away from home more than it should have. At times, the burden of raising our two daughters has fallen too heavily on Michelle. During the campaign, not a day went by that I didn't wish I could spend more time with the family I love more than anything else in the world.

But through my own experiences, and my continued efforts to be a better father, I have learned something over the years about what children need most from their parents. They need our time, measured not only in the number of hours we spend with them each day, but what we do with those hours. I've learned that children don't just need us physically present, but emotionally available - willing to listen and pay attention and participate in their daily lives. Children need structure, which includes learning the values of self-discipline and responsibility...And above all I've learned that children need our unconditional love - when they succeed and when they make mistakes; when life is easy and life is hard...

This year, in addition to being President, I took on a second job. I was an assistant coach for Sasha's basketball team. Every Sunday we would bring Sasha and her teammates together for clinics and drills. It was a lot of fun. There were even a couple of times when I'd fill in for the regular coaches at the games. I'll admit that this was a little nerve-racking, and I'm sure this was true for Sasha as well, who may have winced when her dad would voice his displeasure with a particular call made by the referee.

But I was so proud, watching her run up and down the court, seeing her learn and improve and gain confidence. And I was hopeful that in the years to come, she would look back on experiences like these as the ones that helped define her as a person - and as a parent herself.

In the end that's what being a parent is all about: those precious moments, the times we spend with our children that fill us with pride and excitement for their future; the chances we have to set an example or offer a piece of advice or just be there to show that we love them. And that's a lesson worth remembering not just on Father's Day, but every other day too.